Why Guys Are Assholes

This post comes from me trying to figure out why guys are predominantly assholes. I know the reason; it’s really not hard to see. I will give you three scenarios of the recent past that has told me to always be an asshole.

This is a post from a myspace blog:

I’m tired of the way guys treat me!!! They think they can take advantage of me just because I have tits and an ass. Well guess what. YOU CAN’T….I always get stuck with the shitty guys that just want a girl for their looks or because they can get a piece of ass. Its not happening anymore. I’m drawing the line here. I want a guy that knows how to treat me right. I want a guy that will love me for who I am and not for what I look like. Not all guys are assholes, just the ones I get stuck with. I want one thats not an asshole, but they are all fucking taken…… Why is it always happening to me. Then when I actually find one that isn’t an asshole, he ends up turning into one. I just want to see what it feels like to actually be treated like I’m supposed to be treated and not like a possession. If you read this and you are one of those guys thats not an asshole or that knows how to treat me like I need to be treated then plz let me know.

To this I responded:

The problem isn’t the fact that you always get stuck with assholes, the problem is that subconsciously every girl wants to date an asshole. Why are there no nice guys? Because nice guys that treat you like a person will be pushed out of the way when an asshole comes along and wants to fuck. The guy that you cry to, confide in, talk intimately with, he’ll forever be nothing more than a teddy bear to hold you and love you while the asshole treats you like shit. And after that asshole is gone, you tell your nice guy “friends” that you’re tired of assholes and the line has been drawn. But how many times have you repeatedly gone into the same situation knowing all the while that you are not acting within reason as to service something in your advantage emotionally and psychologically? How many nice guys where there for you when you willingly, of your own free will, went knowingly into the relationship with a guy when all along there was a nice guy there that did like you for who you are and not what you looked like? That guy will forever be shit on and assholes will forever end up with girls only to mistreat them in and then the girl goes to the kind guy and tells him of her problems and confides in him … only to toss him to the side again, although she knows that he loves her for who she is she will never want him because subconsciously she doesn’t want that. She never will and that’s why girls end up with assholes. Not because guys are predominantly assholes, but because girls predominantly choose assholes over the other guys that love and care for them and want to take the time to love them and treat them right.

A word of wisdom to the men out there: you can’t finish last if you don’t participate in the race.

She wants one that isn’t an asshole but says they’re all taken. They are not all taken. She just doesn’t want a man that isn’t an asshole. Trying to love her and care for her is so pointless, too. If you won’t scream at her and degrade her, by god she will find someone that will, like a real man should. So, what became of this situation? First she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me because I “care for who she really is.” Which, trust me, is the most fatal thing you can do when trying to enter into a relationship. If you care for a girl for who she is, be prepared to accept the fact that there’s some straw-headed asshole waiting around the corner that will snatch her up and bang her on a dirt-road while the Stripes play on their iPod. She calls me on her way to work and tells me that she still wants to go to the movies and come down and hang out. I wait for the call until 11 and then I retire back to reading The Brothers Karamazov. She messaged me and told me she was single and that she loved me. She told me she wanted to be with me because she was tired of the way assholes treated her. This was two days ago: what happened yesterday? She got back with the guy that she told me she hated for being an asshole and didn’t tell me at all. She got back with him a long time before calling me and telling me she wanted to come and hang out with me. Before telling me to tell my friends I couldn’t jam with them because I was “fucking her.” What became of this? What the fuck do you expect? She went straight back to her self proclaimed asshole and hasn’t said a word to me. For this alone I am justified in treating 10 girls like shit. But hey, if I did that, I’d be in a great relationship. I’d have a pet with an opinion that performs blowjobs on command for treats. Those were the days.

Situation II:

I meet a girl, with whom I can have a conversation and she laughs a lot. We start talking a lot and I try to help her get over an asshole out of her recent past. Regardless of how much I try to care, I’m stopped with a boot in the face. But, I deserved it for being stupid enough to actually think a girl wanted to date a nice guy. The best way to sweep a girl off her feet, apparently, is to knock her the fuck out and then make her cry. And, that’s what I had to do get laid by this girl. Kindness didn’t work; compassion didn’t work; being a nice guy didn’t work. What worked? Leaving her 10 pages telling her how much of a terrible human being she was and insulting her terribly. After that, she’s ready for love. She chose me then because I was an asshole, treated her like shit, and that’s what girls really want. They say they want a smart man – this is complete bullshit. No girl on EARTH wants an intelligent man. They say they do, but they don’t. They want someone that’ll smack them around and treat them like a woman. Not like a human being. After having sex with her, I started to treat her kindly and compassionately again. Trying to be there for her when she needed me, care for her, and show her respect. What did she do? She rebelled, told me not to care, and utterly wanted nothing to do with me. She asked for my apathy; I gave it to her. What did she do? Bitch about it. Doing what a girl asks you to do is fatal. Telling her to go fuck herself is the sure way into her hearts. Want to find a girl you can love forever? Beat the shit out of her. Nothing says I love you like a slug to the jaw. And why not liven it up a bit? How about sticking a radioactive potato in her ass and setting it on fire just before punting it, along with her, through a field goal on a football field into a pit of other dipshits whom also have been recently sodomized by potatoes and punted. They’ll surely love you to then.

The first step to a woman’s heart becomes treating her like shit. After looking back on all my relationships, the longest one was 8 days shy of a year. How did I keep her for so long and have her love me so completely? I was a total asshole to her. Screamed at her, yelled, made her cry: but she loved me. Do not, I REPEAT, do not go into a relationship thinking that being nice will get you anywhere. It won’t. Some girls are so pessimistic that there could be a rainbow in their backyard and paradise on earth and they’d complain about the brightness and all the freeloading deer. Fuck deer. Deer suck.

To enter into a monogamous relationship is to willfully submit yourself to a never-ending cycle of “I am wrong and you are right.” To enter into an understanding with the opposite sex is to know this has to be said a million times. To refuse to say this, hold fast to your ideas, beliefs, suggestions, etc, is to die lonely in a trailer park with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a notebook full of proviso dialogues like this. In a relationship the most profound concept of all disappears: the concept of self, of me, of that which you refer to when you speak of yourself. The will of one no longer matters and is replaced by the desire to debase yourself so that the other might feel good. If you have strong beliefs, opinions, and ideas, you will always be lonely. For one, you deserve it.

As for the third situation:

A 14 year old girl is infatuated with my little brother. She is telling everybody how passionately she wants to be with him, fuck him, and that she loves him. The only problem: she ALREADY HAD A FUCKING BOYFRIEND! He was nice to her and my brother treated her like a monkey’s asshole. Shrugged her off, made her feel like an insect. The worse he treated her the wetter that little pussy got for him.

It’s as though women go into relationships like a 49’er looking for gold. They sift through the rocks in the middle of the river until they find a piece of gold. As soon as they find what they believe is gold, they throw all the worthless rocks back in the river. Know what those rocks are? Nice guys. You, me, every guy that tries to see a woman as a human being. Trust me, they do not want that. They want a guy to take them to the movies and pay for it. They want a guy that will agree with them when they’re wrong and submit to them. Relationships are just a tragic farce anyway and often in terribly: kids, marriage, and other assorted horrors.

Next time you’re with a guy and you think he is an asshole, think of the way he’s been treated by girls in the past and you’ll realize why he’s such a dick. But hey, if he’s an asshole, you’ll probably be too busy crying and fucking to do any sort of thinking at all. And when he’s gone? American Idol. Who wants to think? Pffffffft.

You think I’m being too hard on women, right? That I don’t know how to treat a woman? Perhaps that is the case in the sense that if I disagree – they will know. I’ll never just agree with someone I don’t agree with. So think about it girls, where are all those really sweet and kind guys that do everything for you? They’re at home looking at a picture of you while you’re out fucking your ex-boyfriend: the one that talks shit to you, fucks you, and leaves you. What do you do? You go cry to the nice guy about how guys are assholes. You literally, or figuratively, cry on his fucking shoulder. He tells you he is there for you and he is. What does this mean? He’ll sit there and forever listen to you talk about all the assholes you repeatedly choose over him and every time you’ll come back to him complaining about how ‘there are no nice guys.’ So, this nice guy sees that being nice gets him no where with most women, so what does he do? He becomes an asshole. He might not be spoken of kindly in conversation, but a girl will surely fuck him and when he breaks her heart she’ll find a nice guy she’d never touch, because he’s nice, to complain about it to. Yes, nice guys: we are the disposable men. We are the disposable ones. So why are guy’s assholes? Chances are, he has been turned into one by a variety of different causes: all of them because of girls he has seen and encountered. And hey, if he wasn’t an asshole, you’d never give him any ass.

Want to be with a real nice guy? Stop being stupid enough to leave that nice you, whose shoulder you cry on, at home by himself when you go out and fuck the outlaw biker that slaps you around in front of his friends and puts cigarettes out on your thighs. Why that guys beating the shit out of you, the nice guy is at home trying to figure out why you like someone else more than him. How many girls consider some of their guy friends “like brothers” to them? Lots. What does that mean? It means those guys are always there for them; treat them like human beings; respect them and care for them; and most of all, they love them. Would a girl ever date this man? Nope. He’s not there for that. He’s the walking talking teddy bear to be used and thrown away by girls as they sift through rocks in the stream. She will never date or have sex with this man for the sole reason that he really cares for her.

In conclusion: fuck you.

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