A Letter to the Unloved

To enter into a monogamous relationship is to willfully submit yourself to a never-ending cycle of “I am wrong and you are right.” To enter into an understanding with the opposite sex is to know this has to be said a million times. To refuse to say this, hold fast to your ideas, beliefs, suggestions, etc, is to die lonely in a trailer park with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a notebook full of proviso dialogues like this. In a relationship the most profound concept of all disappears: the concept of self, of me, of that which you refer to when you speak of yourself. The will of one no longer matters and is replaced by the desire to debase yourself so that the other might feel good.

Then is there anything to be said of kindness, when in the end, it reflects still personal advantages exploited under the guise of kindness to others? What then can one do to reflect only the interests of another? Would starving so that someone else could eat be completely selfless? If a good deed is its own reward, then how is there any concept of selflessness?

Being alone is perhaps the most difficult thing to encounter in the human sphere of existence. For one, we’re left alone with the one person we understand the least: ourselves. There isn’t a person on earth of whom I’m more afraid than myself; of whom I have more fear when approaching; of whom I have such little understanding. It’d be easy for me to say I know more about those around me than I truly know of myself. I act a certain way and wonder if I chose it or if I was compelled somehow. “I” again, compelled by instinct, pervasive will in the Kant sense, or by free will chosen? If one does not realize that one has free will, and believes then that every action is the result of an impression, or imperative, then one eliminates their own free will by ascribing their actions to other sources than of one’s own free choosing. “Know thyself”, a Socratic principle, then becomes exceedingly difficult when, by logic, you attempt to understand what it is you refer to in the context of ‘self.’ Most people, when in reference to themselves, describe ‘I’ as that which thinks. Some relate the “I” as the body, their name, or their general person. “I think therefore I am.” – This is widely regarded as the basic tenants of sentient existence. But, the “I” that thinks, what is that? It thinks therefore it is, but what is it that thinks? The thought conduit, the place from which ideas spring.

Thinking is nothing more than self-bickering with adopted words and phrases. A genius is a genius because of how he is born. An intelligent man is an intelligent man because of how he has cultivated himself. Genius is the creation of ideas, principles, and original thinking. Intelligence is the hording of the principles, theories, and ideas of genius. A man with a great understanding of the theory of relativity is indeed intelligent; the man behind the theory is the man of genius. He who is endowed from birth with knowledge, and has never to of it be told, is a man endowed with genius. Knowing something without having first to be told is a sign of genius; knowing everything there is to know of a subject because of study and research is merely indicative of intelligence. Intelligence, though, in this society is enough. It hardly takes a genius to plug something in and press the on button.

But, why would someone need to be endowed with ideas from birth in this society when society always looks the other way? It is not the men of genius who rule; it is the men of wealth who rule. Is it the men of genius that have the prettiest women at their arms on Friday night? No. It is the men of aesthetic. Genius is a long forgotten idea because this world has made the man of genius the primary enemy of the state. In this sense, an intelligent man is the man who understands everything there is to know about a car. A genius is the man who invented it. By thinking – taking things into a different level. Using adopted words and ideas of other men to create instead of store for a good mark or a nice salary. Intelligence becomes apparent during schooling because of how well, or quickly, a child adapts to standard confines. Genius is apparent since day one and cannot be taught. Your mind can go only as far as your vocabulary.

What is called thinking? Associations of words and pre-defined principles and theories. What is called “theories” ? Ideas made up by words. What are called words? Abstract suggestions structured into language to signify thoughts. What is called thought? I have no idea. Action is product of the moment. Moment is the child of the prior.

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